Resident at number 3 Good-Husband street was Trevor. Trevor was a regular at Beadnell, he came the first weekend and usually stayed for the duration. Trevor likes his garden, and as he would be at Beadnell for 3 weeks he built himself a very respectable garden outside of his awning (he still had a caravan in those days). This year his garden consisted of a rockery, various plants, flowers, and a varied group of 9-inch high garden Gnomes. Trevor’s Gnomes came in different guises, there was a fishing gnome, a digging gnome, gnomes doing nothing in particular, and then there was Gordon. Gordon appeared to be carrying a suitcase (some thought it was a lunch box, but were soon proved wrong!).
Each evening as dusk fell, Trevor would carefully transfer the more delicate of his plants, along with the Gnomes to the inside of his awning (it was warmer there), and every morning he would re-arrange his garden. However, it soon became apparent that during the day when Trevor wasn't looking, the Gnomes, in particular Gordon, were moving around. It was soon reported that over night, again Gordon in particular was moving around the awning as well! Finally one morning in the middle of the first week, Trevor reported that Gordon had disappeared completely.
The hue and cry went up! Gordon was missing! Gordon was lost! Gordon had been `Gnome-napped`. Virtually the whole site joined in the search, caravans were searched, awnings were emptied of their contents and people crawled under their `vans` and `pup tents`, Gordon was nowhere to be found. As could be expected, Trevor was devastated, (it was rumoured that he mounted guard over the remaining Gnomes for the rest of the holiday, setting trip wires and traps for would-be Gnome- nappers) and a wake was arranged for that Friday night in the `Pop-inn` after the fishing competition results. Gordon was toasted and wished well but it was assumed by all that he would never be seen again.
On the following Monday morning Postman Pat arrived on site. This was not exactly an unusual occurrence, but it was fairly rare. The little red van pulled up outside the Stewards caravan and the postman got out. The steward, after talking for a moment or two, pointed to Trevor's caravan and then retreated back inside. The postman went to Trevor's. Trevor received his correspondence and waved goodbye as the postman went back to his van and drove off site. After looking at his post Trevor displayed a look of absolute incredulity! "A post-card " he shouted, " I've got a post-card from Gordon". The post-card was from Scotland, and informed Trevor that Gordon had gone on his travels to visit his Scottish cousins, he was alright and the weather was good. He hoped to be home before the THS at Beadnell closed for this year.
Trevor was elated, "at least now we know that he wasn't Gnome-napped" was his comment. Everyone was very relieved.
The final weekend of Beadnell arrived, wet pits were filled in, awnings were starting to be taken down, and still there was no sign of Gordon. On the final Saturday morning Trevor received another post-card. This time it was from Plymouth!
Am enjoying myself so much have decided to continue my travels. Am hoping to go abroad shortly to visit my European cousins, best wishes, Gordon
Over the following six or seven weeks, whenever Trevor visited a `weekend meet`, he would regale his audience with tales of the latest post-card from Gordon. Gordon was in France, or Gordon was in Spain, Gordon was certainly getting around! But all good things must come to an end they say, and so it was with Gordon's travels. In the middle of September Trevor received what was to be the final post-card from Gordon. This time it was posted in Somerset
Am back in England and making my way home, Am I still welcome? If I am, hang a packet of Chocolate Digestive Biscuits (Plain Chocolate Please) from the DA Pennon Pole at Teesside DA's Feast of Lanterns at Hutton Rudby, then I will come home.
Love, Gordon
The weekend of the feast of lanterns arrived, and on the Friday night Trevor, with the aid of his grandchildren solemnly fastened a packet of chocolate digestive biscuits (plain chocolate) to the top of the DA Pennon Pole.
They were still there on Saturday morning.
As DA campers will know, it is tradition at a feast of lanterns meet to illuminate your unit. Some people take this to extremes and as well as hanging a light outside will often go to very great lengths to decorate it as well. So it was with Teesside DA. Several people had decorated their caravans, awnings, tents etc. to represent a scene from the 1950's.
That evening Trevor went walkabout to view the decorated units. One of the first he saw was Bob's. Bob had gone the whole hog! A real 1950's scene in his awning! Genuine tiled fireplace, (don't ask how he got it there) table, chairs, gramophone, the works. And what was that, hiding behind a pile of newspapers? Surely that was Gordon!!
But no: on closer inspection it turned out to be Hans, a German friend of Gordon's come to visit (as explained on a label attached to his feet). Trevor had only walked a few more yards when one of his grandchildren shouted "Granddad, Gordon's in Jim's caravan window!" But again on closer inspection it was another visitor looking for Gordon. Trevor moved on. In Ken's awning was yet another Gordon like Gnome, this time being hanged by the neck for attempting to steal Barbara's winkles! There were Gnomes everywhere! in tents, in awnings and in caravans, in fact the whole site seemed to have become a `Gnome convention`. There were Gnomes in the farmer's barn and there were Gnomes amongst the sheep, but still no Gordon.
After the walkabout, a barn dance was held in the farmer's barn. A great time was had by all (eagerly watched over by several very colourful Gnomes), this may be something to do with the very large amount of scrumpy cider which was being consumed, having been brought back from Somerset the week previous by a nameless member of the DA. (A certain prominent member of the DA had to spend the night in his awning, having been bodily thrown there by his wife who objected to cleaning him up again following the cider)
The many sore heads next morning couldn't hide the fact that the biscuits had gone! But there was still no sign of Gordon. The day moved on, games were played and prizes awarded, finally it was time for the raffle to be drawn.
As usual, Trevor won a couple of prizes. At last all but one prize was collected; there was only one left, a gift-wrapped mystery prize. The DA Chairman shouted out the winning number "246", would you believe it? Trevor again. Trevor moved through the crowd and collected his prize. "Open it" came the cry. With great reserve, Trevor open the prize, Yes, it was Gordon, wrapped in tissue paper and complete with a note that said `Hello Trevor, I'm so glad to be home!` Gordon appeared not to have suffered for his extensive travels, perhaps his boots were looking somewhat worse for wear but after a quick inspection Trevor confirmed that this really was Gordon at last but expressed himself completely unable to account for Gordon’s travels or his spectacular return.
Last heard of, Gordon was enjoying a (relatively) stationary life in Trevor's back garden in sunny Coulby Newham, we wish him well.
Gordon in his retirement, enjoying his pipe and a pint!